You have a meeting scheduled with a team member tomorrow afternoon. A client emails and requests a meeting at the same time. What do you do? 

I hope you would tell the client you have a prior meeting at that time while proposing an alternative. I have a feeling that, for most of you, that is not the case. The notion that we have to politically analyze each meeting request like the seating chart at a UN luncheon, without even attempting to make an alternative arrangement with the encroacher, is not a good precedent to set. It damages your reputation in, at least, three critical ways.

What does that say to the person who was first in line?

By pushing one meeting for another, you are essentially letting someone cut in line. Getting the old “something came up can we push this [thirty minutes/to this afternoon/until tomorrow]” email is never a good feeling. It projects a sense that the person you are meeting with isn’t important or the meeting isn’t important. If either of those things is true, why are you having the meeting in the first place? You have no idea what the other person has already declined because this meeting was on the calendar. Did they already have to decline a meeting with a client?  Tell their kids they couldn’t make the soccer game? Put the shoe on the other foot, if someone you were meeting with did that to you, how would it make you feel? If the meeting is with a group of people and you just “opt-out” what message does that send? What importance will the others place on that meeting if you don’t feel it is important enough to attend? 

What does that say about your calendar? 

To others, it says your schedule doesn’t need to be respected. When they are looking at meeting times, why would they even pay attention to your availability? Apparently, it doesn’t matter. If it is important enough, you’ll schedule around it.  If it isn’t, well there is their answer. If you look at your calendar and find a meeting that you would push, postpone, or cancel right now for anything that doesn’t involve you or someone you love in the hospital, it is time to make some changes.

What does that say about you to the client?

A few years ago, I asked a vendor rep to pull some data for me. They emailed and said it would be done in an hour. A few hours later, I received an email with the data and an apology that it took so long. The rep was in Mexico and the hotel had poor internet speed. I was as mad as a hatter. I looked and sounded like Donald Duck when a plan backfires. No, I wasn’t mad that the data was late. It wasn’t really late. It wasn’t even time-sensitive. I was mad because the rep didn’t say “Is this time-sensitive? I’m on vacation.” Now, I look like the demanding client to, at the very least, his family and probably his colleagues to whom he will tell the story. At the same time, I lost respect for that rep. I had counted on their professional services to tell me the truth, not what they thought I wanted to hear. If they can’t tell me I have to wait for my data because they are on vacation, how can I trust they will tell me hard truths when it really matters? 

Listen, I’m not saying that you should never reschedule a meeting. That would be unwise. However, you owe it to the person you are meeting with, yourself, and the requestor to at least try to respect the existing meeting. What is the worst that is going to happen? Do you explode in a fit of uncontrollable rage when someone responds to your meeting request with “I’m already booked at that time. Would X:XX work for you?” I certainly hope not.

If you give it a shot, and you still have to reschedule then you need to tell the other person why in detail. “Something came up,” “Someone put something else on my calendar,” and “I now have a client call” are simply not good enough. They were in line first. If someone is going to cut, they deserve to know who and why.