"No Assholes" Defined.

Herbert (right) and me (left). Photo credit: Herbert "Herb" Ciabatta Fairchild-Musielak

Herbert (right) and me (left). Photo credit: Herbert "Herb" Ciabatta Fairchild-Musielak

As I walked my dog (Herbert-pictured above) the other day, started to think about how I would define "no a$$holes." It is a term I have noticed in job descriptions and heard talked about as policy but have never seen clearly defined (which is probably the point but not the subject of this article). I realized that I intuitively understand what I think it means but there is a chance that other people have a completely different view. So, I started pondering some ideas which encompass my definition. What I came up with is below. I guess you could call it an expectation list or employee conduct policy.

  • Care. Just going through the motions is never enough. If this is just a job to you, this may not be the job for you. 
  • In sports, the game doesn't stop because a play didn't work out. The same thing applies here. When things don't go according to plan, we do what we can to move the ball forward even if it means doing something that is technically not our responsibility. Nothing is below us
  • There is no such thing as "above and beyond." We can only give 100%. In customer service, 100% is always expected. 
  • Everyone is in customer service. All of our actions directly or indirectly affect our customer's experience with our products and services. 
  • Speaking of customer service, the customer is not always right but the customer is almost never completely wrong. We should always try to understand their point of view.
  • The 100% rule works the other way too. We don't take on more than we can handle. We ask for help. It is better to ask for help now than to come up short in the end. 
  • Take time for ourselves. There is no altruism in that statement. If someone is burnt out, we are all worse off. Part of our job is managing our own work life balance.
  • We don't stop when things are technically complete. We continue working until the job is completely complete. 
  • If you see something, say something. If something isn't working well or could be done better, tell someone. You probably thought of something no one else has. 
  • One weak team member significantly alters the team culture and overall performance. We play to win. If you aren't keeping up, prepare to be coached or cut. It isn't personal. Some players fit better in other systems. Remember, even Babe Ruth was traded.

That's it. Just some random thoughts I had while watching my dog sniff a tree.